Thursday, June 22, 2006

Bihari Essay "Indian Cow"

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC(IAS)Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

Indian Cow

HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses don't have any such attachment]

What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza] , in hand and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the cow.......

We are informed that the candidate passed the exam, and is now an IAS, in bihar in somewhere..[sorry somewhere in Bihar]


And this marks my 75th post today

15 comments:

Ashish Gupta said...

wat crap? #-o

kuch chamka hi nahi :|

Bihar ki Jai ho!

Anonymous said...

Lo 75 posts .. mere ko patta hi nahin challa .. good job preeti ....

karmic_jay said...

Man that completely cracked me up. This is for real is it?
Bihar will be the butt of jokes for ages.
well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza]

You know pizza will never be the same for me ever again. lol

Ricky said...

Cow-Mata aur Cow-Mata-pe-essay-likhne-waale ke Jai ho... :P

Aditi said...

pretty funny.. i think i read of a question paper once that was supposed to be along the same lines
=)

nidhi2preeti said...

hmm.......i see...congo for the 75th !! and yeah...maybe some crap there..but seriously i consider myself a bihari...and its weird looking at something from such a perspective...

Very schewed !

The Bhandari's said...

@Ashish.... lol chamka to mujhay bhi nahin :P

@Sachin... thanks

@Karmic_jay....even pizza will not be same for me now :D lolz

@ricky.... lolz

@aditi .... :)

@nidhi... hey I just got this as a forward and posted it here, no pun intended... chill even I don't mind reading surds jokes and keep on forwarding them too :P

Pratik said...

In one movie Govinda had something similar to say, dont remember which movie it was, but it had raveena tandon, and shilpa shetty.
btw congrats on golden jublee

Ricky said...

KaariƱdah, My Journey through life and beyond. A new photo blog by yours truly. Do visit it and read the little anecdote about it @ http://kaarindah.blogspot.com

P.S: The pictures will follow soon...

anjan said...

whatt!!?? no-way...
why not!... when Laloo can rule for two decades, why cant he get an IAS

long live bihar!!

Reema said...

read this somewhere ages back.. its a classic!!

The Bhandari's said...

@Pratik.... yeah I too have seen that movie and he acted as a waiter there but couldn't recall it's name

@Ricky.... me rushing to your new blog :P

@anjan.... yuo :P

@Reema... :P welcome here
~preeti

Chaotic Monk said...

Well even I felt bad for the results of GILC II. I really felt that Doctor n Pratap were superb...but then...I guess U are right about the Doctor....not everyone can understand the depth of this humor which was blended with Life! Anyways....I guess that Rauf gave a good performance that day...though I have not seen that finals as I was busy with my exams!

Viewer said...

Hey Preeti thatwas hillarious :)

Disha said...

Wow, this is the most bizzare description of the cow,LOL.
Btw, congrats on your 75 posts, This is an achievement:)